It’s been three years today since my mom became an angel and it still feels like yesterday. I wake up every day feeling empty, wishing I could call her, hug her, and just annoy the crap out of her; but sadly I can’t.
I spend my time wanting to do the physical things with my Mom now talking to the sky (I swear I’m not crazy) but sometimes it feels like all I can do. I can’t explain what it feels like (You’ll understand when it happens to you) but it’s almost like a never-ending pain in your chest that will never go away. And since I can’t make it go away, for the past three years I have been trying to make it as less painful as I can, which is frankly all I can do…
Wearing my Mom’s clothes, embracing her memories, and cherishing her soul is how I may have gotten through each day this year…because doing these things is how I’ve personally learned to cope with my mother’s passing and honor her life. Each day offers more healing, but it never gets easier. There have been plenty of times I wish my mom could meet the new people in my life, talk to me, give me advice, or just be physically here as my mom. But it just can’t happen…and you know what, it’s okay.
I lost my best friend. There have been plenty of times I wish my mom could meet the new people in my life, talk to me, give me advice, or just be physically here as my mom. But it just can’t happen…and you know what, it’s okay. I have reassured myself every day that my mother is always by my side no matter what and with that, I will continue to tell anyone and everyone who has or will deal with grief like mine…stay positive, continue to love, and always keep your faith.
I love you, Mom.
With Love,
Lex Paige
