The Top 10 Worst Things You Can Get Your Father for Father’s Day

There has been one man who has watched me grow up for twenty-two years and guided me as best he could through thick and thin; this man is my dad and he goes by the name Steve, we have the same eyes and tans extremely easily.

Ever since I was a little girl, I always aimed to make Father’s Day special for my dad. Most of the time I made stuff because I was poor, creative, and a child, but nowadays with an actual disposable income I make sure I get my dad something nice in honor of showing him some extra love on this special day. However, this year I have been drawing a blank on what to get my dad. So, I did what any lost individual does when searching for the perfect gift, ask her friends.

Hoping I would be given some valuable ideas, unfortunately, all of my closest friends I spoke with about the matter provided me with nothing but horrible ideas. Quite frankly, they all were so terrible and the lamest ideas I have ever heard I was no longer interested in searching for the perfect Father’s Day gift anymore, but rather inspired me to write this article to guide others away from the dark hole that is these horrible gifts.

So as you read these “gift” ideas for Father’s Day, do your dad a solid and yourself a favor, and DO NOT get your sweet old man this sh*t. Also, to my friends…may the odds be ever in your father’s favor. Bless.

The Top 10 Worst Things You Can Get Your Father for Father’s Day

1. A Tie

Seriously, your dad does NOT want a tie. They are boring, they are rudimentary, and overall no one wants a tie as a gift unless it’s made of gold and they can resell it on the black market.

2. A Singing Fish

If someone got me a plastic fish or some other animal that sang some annoying ass song as a gift I would personally smash it in front of them. Your father will not even think it’s truly funny if you gift this as a joke to him, it’s not funny. This is a sad novelty gift. Get your father a fishing trip so he can catch his fish.

3. Cufflinks

Why….God made buttons for a reason. Buy your dad a shirt instead at least that’s practical. At least your father can utilize it.

4. Socks

I don’t care if they are dress socks, funky socks, or even a package of plain old Hanse socks. NO ONE WANTS SOCKS AS A GIFT. It’s a gift that has zero thought to it and we should just all submit ourselves to walking barefoot to prevent this from ever happening again.

5. A Picture of Yourself

Your father sees you probably all the time. Your face is probably posted all over his house, his wallet, and his phone. He does not want another photo of you. You’re beautiful/handsome and he loves you but please spare him from such a vain gift.

6. A Watch

(Unless it’s an Apple Watch) People barely use watches anymore. In the digital world, we now live in, people rely on their smartphones to tell them what time it is. But like I said if it’s an Apple Watch…well, that sh*t is just plain old cool so get that.

7. Grill Equipment

No spatula, no trays, no poking forks, and absolutely no lighter fluid… If you pair your grilling equipment you decide to cave and give your father as well with a thing of BBQ sauce I will be disappointed in you even more.

8. A Can of Shaving Cream

Your father is a big boy and he can purchase his can of shaving cream. Unless you are buying him a membership to the Dollar Shave Club or something cool like that, getting him a can of shaving cream is just wretched.

9. Crap you can find that says “BEST DAD EVER

Unless you are between the ages of months and 13 years old…your dad’s going to wonder what the hell is wrong with you. He’s going to think you are not only lazy because you couldn’t put some real effort into getting him a nice-ass gift, but also basic.

10. A Screwdriver

Why the hell would you torture your poor father and give him a screwdriver? When I was told this option as a gift I became speechless. Gifting a screwdriver is basically like telling your father to go screw himself (puny) but try not to be that cheap and get the whole damn toolbox.

With Love,

Lex Paige